Why You Should Treat Getting in Shape Like a Beautiful Marriage

September 10th, 2010 | Posted in Fitness tips | No Comments » | Share this article

I mentioned this already in another article, but it definitely bears repeating — you should think about making a commitment to being healthy in the same way that you think about marriage, or any long-term relationship.

In other words — take it seriously, sure, but more than that, there are some real similarities to finding a relationship that works and sticking with a lifetime of healthy living. Here’s what I’ve found:

Don’t Rush Into It

You don’t want to be too hasty when it comes to falling in love and getting hitched right away, do you? Sure — we all know about the exceptions, the ones who met and within 3 months were married and have been happily together for the last 50 years.

But those are exceptions. Most people don’t really work that way. Everyone knows some grandpa somewhere who’s still smoking at 95 years old and never got lung cancer or anything else, but most people who smoke for a lifetime do get sick, and most rushed marriages do have serious problems.

In the same way, don’t rush into a healthy lifestyle if you’re coming from an unhealthy one. You need to ease into it, just like you’d ease into a relationship. Then, sure, comes the passionate stage — but it’s rarely right from the very first second.

Give Yourself Time and Space

You just fundamentally need some time and some space before you can figure out whether this lifestyle is for you. There’s nothing wrong with that.

If you’re thinking “oh man, making a commitment to work out every week, 4 times or more, is just crazy” — then slow it down. Take a bit more time. Do what works for you.

Be Honest With Yourself

Great relationships only work when two partners first know themselves. If you’re looking to another person to “fill in” your entire personality, that’s not a healthy marriage — that’s dependency. And knowing yourself means being honest with yourself, not continuously lying to yourself. There’s a fine line between optimism and “pessimistic honesty”, and I’m 100% on the side of completely optimistic.

But if you’ve struggled with health, diet, and exercise for your entire life? Be honest about it — don’t expect to become a marathon runner within 3 months. Acknowledge and admit that it’s going to take longer than that, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Know When to Compromise and When to Push

No one is ever 100% right in a marriage or long-term relationship. There’s always a bit of compromise, always a bit of pushback — no one’s perfect, and we have to make space for another person’s flaws. That’s part of what it means to be a loving couple.

But there are times when people compromise too much. Then lay down and become passive and never make their case. Or they push back too much, and never let the other partner have their say.

The same goes for pursuing a healthy lifestyle — when your body is telling you “hey, slow it down a little, or I’m gonna quit for good”, you need to acknowledge this. But when you’re being lazy, or unmotivated, or looking for an excuse — that’s when you need to wake up and say hey, no — we’re going to do this.

It’s about knowing when to compromise, and knowing when to stand firm.

Your Comments

Got any other ways that pursuing a healthy lifestyle is a lot like a relationship? How has it mirrored your own? Tell me about it in the comments!